Ah the Irony!

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In a “Forrest Gump” moment:  “I felt like running…. so I ran.”

Hello Reader, (my one and only reader, who I love and value so!)

I’m back…have you missed me? I know, right?  The nerve.

So sorry.

Ironically, I started this blog in February of 2018, posted a few times, wrote about fear, (or more specifically how afraid I was to expose my inner world),  and immediately after,  I bolted.

Fear – 1…. Blogger 0!

Truth be told, I was using a dating website and someone contacted me who had found my blog.  My worst nightmare was realized in less than a month!  Although his comments were nothing but encouraging,  the sudden connection between my pubic and private life was too much.

Of course, I’ve always known I was different… and I have no problem with that.  I’m also pretty sure almost everyone around me suspects something, I mean, how could they not?  But still….  writing it down is one thing, having someone find it?  Now, that’s a different story!

As panic set in,  I took off – literally.  I got on my  bike and rode away.  I was on the road for days, riding from Pittsburgh, PA thru Maryland, WVA, and VA.  But as luck would have it, once I got home – there I was.  And more importantly, there it was… the same damn fear!

So I decided I needed to move, a new house will surely help me escape! Sheer brilliance – or so I thought!   Since February of 2018, (26 months), I have actually moved 4 times!!  Buying and selling 3 houses, and renting one apartment along the way.  Packing is a great distraction, and as you might imagine unpacking is both an intellectual and physical feat.  But once it’s all said and done… there I was again – there it was again, the same damn fear!

Ironically, as I write this today, I am once again surrounded by boxes.  Three weeks away from yet another move.  (I know, right?  Enough already!)  But this time is different. This is a move of surrender.  This time I get it.  Or so I hope.

So dear reader, (my one and only reader, who I love and value so), please forgive me for abandoning you.   Lets make this move together and unpack some deep spiritual sh** along the way!

 

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