In a “Forrest Gump” moment: “I felt like running…. so I ran.”
Hello Reader, (my one and only reader, who I love and value so!)
I’m back…have you missed me? I know, right? The nerve.
Ironically, I started this blog in February of 2018, posted a few times, wrote about fear, (or more specifically how afraid I was to expose my inner world), and immediately after, I bolted.
Fear – 1…. Blogger 0!
Truth be told, I was using a dating website and someone contacted me who had found my blog. My worst nightmare was realized in less than a month! Although his comments were nothing but encouraging, the sudden connection between my pubic and private life was too much.
Of course, I’ve always known I was different… and I have no problem with that. I’m also pretty sure almost everyone around me suspects something, I mean, how could they not? But still…. writing it down is one thing, having someone find it? Now, that’s a different story!
As panic set in, I took off – literally. I got on my bike and rode away. I was on the road for days, riding from Pittsburgh, PA thru Maryland, WVA, and VA. But as luck would have it, once I got home – there I was. And more importantly, there it was… the same damn fear!
So I decided I needed to move, a new house will surely help me escape! Sheer brilliance – or so I thought! Since February of 2018, (26 months), I have actually moved 4 times!! Buying and selling 3 houses, and renting one apartment along the way. Packing is a great distraction, and as you might imagine unpacking is both an intellectual and physical feat. But once it’s all said and done… there I was again – there it was again, the same damn fear!
Ironically, as I write this today, I am once again surrounded by boxes. Three weeks away from yet another move. (I know, right? Enough already!) But this time is different. This is a move of surrender. This time I get it. Or so I hope.
So dear reader, (my one and only reader, who I love and value so), please forgive me for abandoning you. Lets make this move together and unpack some deep spiritual sh** along the way!