Unfolding…or at least trying to…

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Oh hello dear reader, (my one and only reader, whom I love and value so!)

 Sadly, it seems I have to admit that I have no idea where this blog is headed.  My experiences with spirituality and mysticism are a lot like the flower above: Individual petals deeply connected to the whole,  yet also remarkably separate.

Channeling a photographer and suddenly becoming an artist, is a mere petal. Being drawn to sit in the driveway of a house I didn’t own… well… that one just might be a leaf.   Hearing plants… talking to animals… seeing spirit… practicing Reiki, meditation, astral travel… petal, petal, petal…

So… yeah..  see the problem?

Fortunately, I do have a goal.

I want this metaphoric flower to open.

I want to find myself, express myself, and bloom before I die!

So far my life has been lived in fear – occasionally fear of the metaphysical, but mostly the fear of being “found out.”  My parents were fairly well-to-do.  My mother was involved on countless boards; her face frequently plastered in the newspaper. My father was also recognized nearly everywhere he went.  In short, I was raised to fit in – be normal – and be quiet.  This was not up for debate. Sit politely,  agree with a smile, and for the love of God, be anything but weird.

Umm…. Huston, we have a problem.

I’m weird! And I’m tired of hiding it.

 Just once before I die (and yes, we will all die), I want to look like this:

Big, beautiful, open, and taking up space in the Universe.

At 54, I also understand that it’s the nothingness, the space in the center that truly matters.  It seems the goal of all religions, all forms of spirituality and spiritual practices eventually lead back to this center. But it doesn’t happen – it can’t happen – until you open to the light.

I know – crazy deep right?  Yeah, now if someone could just tell me how to blog…

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